Elders Suffer From Sadness in the Nursing Home
Duong Nguyen
The difference between Asians and Americans is that when their parents become old, Americans put their parents in a nursing home. In Vietnamese culture, when parents age, they are taken care of at home. Even if my family has a difficult relationship, I always think I should not put my parents in a nursing home because I am superstitious. I believe in karma, and if I send my parents to the nursing home, maybe in the future, my children will also send me to the nursing home.
The adult children of older parents may wonder if a nurse will take good care of their parents. In addition, maybe when they live in a nursing home, they will not like the nursing home because they will be lonely and sad. Everyone believes the nursing home is a convenient place and the staff will thoughtfully take care of our parents, but perhaps this is not so.
Elders have troubled feelings of isolation, aloneness, separation, loneliness, helplessness, and boredom. They live in the nursing home but they cannot receive any specialized care like in their individual home.
And we cannot begin to describe the agony some elders feel when they have an aching desire to just go home or how much extreme pain elders feel when their family goes home.
Even in the nursing home, surrounded by many caring people, it is easy for elders to be lonely when the family is absent. Everyone thinks elders are like in prison until they die in the nursing home.
Weeks and months pass. Since there are no visitors and no change in the daily routine, their meals are always alone.
If someone else has free time to come, visit and share with the elders so they don’t think to be lonely. If we have time, send cards and notes throughout the year, holidays, birthdays and other occasions. Then they will think and know they have someone to worry and miss them.
Return to the Making Our Home Here page.
